Forget pandemics, forget climate change — the real global plague is selfishness. Everywhere you look, humanity has devolved into a planet of insufferable selfish assholes.
Drivers cutting each other off. Shoppers fist-fighting over discounted TVs. Tourists trampling sacred historical and religious sites for selfies. Politicians hoarding power while citizens hoard toilet paper.
It’s not just an occasional bad day. It’s cultural and systemic. It’s who we’ve become. Selfishness and infantilisation are no longer vices — it’s a lifestyle. And the assholes are winning.
The Cult of Me
Social media turned the whole world into a mirror. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok — all shrines to the cult of me. Every meal photographed, every thought posted, every tragedy turned into a chance for ‘likes’. Every thought is carefully put together for the sake of someone hitting a ‘like’ button.
Once upon a time, selfishness was frowned upon. Now it’s branded. Influencers make millions selling the illusion of their perfect lives. Politicians market themselves like products. Even activism has become a form of self-promotion — hashtags, selfies at protests, virtue-signalling as performance art.
The culture doesn’t just tolerate selfishness. It monetises it.
Communities used to be built on shared responsibility. Neighbours helped each other. People cared about collective survival. Now? Community has been replaced with individual convenience.
- Don’t like your neighbours? Move to a gated suburb.
- Don’t like your countrymen? Retreat into your echo chamber online.
- Don’t want to compromise? Demand everything cater to you.
The result? Societies where everyone is an island, screaming across the digital void about their personal grievances, while the bonds that hold us together rot.
The Customer Service Mentality
Part of the problem is consumer culture. For decades, we’ve been told “the customer is always right.” That message seeped into every corner of life. Now everyone thinks they’re the customer — in politics, in relationships, in public life.
Everyone thinks they’re entitled to perfect service, instant gratification, and zero inconvenience. That’s why strangers berate baristas. That’s why passengers attack flight attendants. That’s why political parties are treated like subscription services, who get cancelled if they don’t deliver exactly what you want.
We’ve raised a world of customers, not citizens.
The Internet Made Us Monsters
Online anonymity stripped away civility. Behind a screen, people say things they’d never say face-to-face. They troll, harass, and dehumanise each other for sport. Outrage is the currency, cruelty is the reward.
And the algorithms love it. Platforms amplify selfish assholes because assholes drive engagement. The loudest, meanest, most narcissistic voices rise to the top. The reasonable, empathetic ones get buried.
The result? Asshole culture has gone global. The internet didn’t just reveal selfishness. It industrialised it.
Parenting the Narcissists
Let’s not ignore how we got here: parenting. For decades, we told kids they were “special,” showered them with participation trophies, shielded them from failure. We raised little emperors who now rule the world with tantrums.
Instead of teaching resilience, we taught fragility. Instead of teaching humility, we taught entitlement. The result is a generation that thinks the world owes them comfort, validation, and applause for simply existing.
The Politicisation of Selfish Assholes
Selfishness isn’t just cultural. It’s political. Politicians have turned narcissism into policy.
- Don’t want to pay taxes? Vote for the guy who promises you can keep everything.
- Don’t want to follow public health measures? Scream about “freedom.” Spread Covid because you’re too selfish and stupid to get the vaccine.
- Don’t want to share resources with immigrants, minorities, or the poor? Elect leaders who tell you it’s patriotic to hate foreigners and those needing a handout.
Selfishness has become ideology. Greed is wrapped in flags. Entitlement is dressed as liberty. And voters lap it up, because it flatters their egos.
The Worship of Wealth
Nothing fuels selfishness like money. Billionaires hoard obscene fortunes while millions starve, and we clap like seals because we’re told they’re “geniuses.” Wealth has become synonymous with virtue. If you’re rich, you must deserve it. If you’re poor, you must have failed.
This mindset absolves society of responsibility. Why help the needy when they “should have worked harder”? Why tax billionaires when they “earned it”? Selfishness trickles down from the top — and when the rich model greed, everyone else follows.
The Global Stage of Assholery
Selfishness isn’t confined to individuals. Nations behave the same way.
- Rich countries hoard vaccines while poor nations die.
- Governments burn fossil fuels for short-term gain while the planet cooks.
- World leaders play war games for prestige while refugees drown.
It’s asshole behaviour on a planetary scale: my interests, my profits, my survival — fuck yours.
Here’s the most dangerous part: selfishness used to come with shame. People hid it. Now, it’s flaunted. Politicians boast about not caring for the poor. Influencers brag about exploiting workers. Corporations destroy the planet while running ads about sustainability.
Assholery has become aspirational. Kids don’t want to be doctors or teachers anymore. They want to be influencers, CEOs, hustlers. They want clout, not contribution.
When selfishness becomes a badge of honour, society is doomed.
Of course, selfishness wears disguises. Performative compassion is everywhere. “Thoughts and prayers.” Hashtags for tragedies. Rainbow logos. Corporations and individuals alike slap on fake empathy while doing nothing of substance.
It’s selfishness in drag — caring only about looking good, not doing good. And we’ve accepted the performance as reality.
The Collapse of Patience
Selfishness is tied to impatience. Everyone wants everything instantly: fast food, same-day delivery, streaming on demand. Waiting feels like oppression. Compromise feels like defeat.
This culture of impatience breeds assholes. Drivers honking after one second at a light. Customers screaming at cashiers over minor delays. Politicians refusing to negotiate. Selfishness thrives where patience dies.
The Fallout
So what does a planet of selfish assholes look like? You’re living in it:
- Polarised politics where compromise is impossible.
- Epidemics of loneliness because relationships require selflessness.
- Exploited workers because bosses value profit over people.
- Ecological collapse because everyone prioritises convenience over sustainability.
Selfishness isn’t just annoying. It’s existentially dangerous.
Can we de-asshole the world? Maybe. But it would take cultural surgery:
- Rebuilding communities instead of echo chambers.
- Teaching humility instead of entitlement.
- Rewarding cooperation instead of narcissism.
- Shaming selfishness again instead of glorifying it.
But here’s the problem: selfishness is profitable. Assholes generate clicks, sales, votes. The system benefits from assholery. Which means fixing it would require dismantling the very structures that prop it up.
The Final Word
The world has turned into a planet of insufferable selfish assholes because we built it that way. We raised selfish kids. We rewarded selfish leaders. We monetised selfish culture. We globalised selfish politics.
And now we’re shocked at the result: a world where empathy is weakness, kindness is rare, and narcissism rules.
The assholes aren’t an accident. They’re the product. And unless we decide to stop buying it, the factory will keep churning them out.
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